i hate goodbyes. i’m really bad at them. i’ve sat down to type this up a million times, it seems, and every time just seems to fall flat. i guess the only thing i can do is just…say what i have to say.
promote the podcasts started as a small little thing i could do in my free time. i never expected to receive so much support, attention, or so many friends. i never expected this to grow into what it has. the countless hours i’ve spent listening to new podcasts, the reviews that were written and never posted, the stories i’ve heard – all of these things are so humbling and overwhelming.
i think that’s the issue: i’m overwhelmed.
i’m at a point in my life where this small-hobby-turned-big-project is something i can no longer afford. monetarily, yes, but also emotionally. most of you are very kind, lovely, wonderful people. i’ve become friends with some of you over the years. and some of you have downright broken my heart.
there’s this weird negativity in the podcast community; it’s not a phenomenon that can be explained, it’s just an overall air of something good tainted by an obsession of numbers, a subconscious desire for competition. i’m all for bettering yourself, don’t get me wrong, but not at the detriment of others.
i’ve put this off for as long as i possibly could. i don’t have anything else i can offer to this. i’ve been searching to find someone who may want to take over, and i’ll keep looking for as long as i can. i’d hate to see something i love so much just go to waste. but i also won’t be surprised if it does. sometimes that’s how things happen.
this site will remain up until at least november 24th. after that, i don’t know. that’s probably the most honest i can be about any of this: i just don’t know.
i want to focus on school. i want to focus on my jobs. i want to be able to enjoy listening to podcasts without being fucked over, for lack of better phrasing. i had big ideas for this when i started, but i’ve got other things that demand my attention now, and i owe it to myself more than anyone to focus on those things.
to those of you that give a damn, that bothered to check in, that had genuine interest in me as a person – thank you. your kindness has not gone unnoticed. to those of you that are now my friends – thank you. to those of you who had the patience to wait for reviews that unfortunately will never come – i’m sorry.
to those of you who’ve hurt me with your words, actions, silence, and for all the hell you’ve put me through – yes. this is personal. i want to hate you. but i don’t. if you want to pretend i never existed, i’ll do the same. you’ve taught me a lot about myself. i’m not going to thank you for that. you don’t deserve that power or recognition.
to all my writers who have put in just as much – if not more – work than i have: the most sincerest of thank yous would not be enough. you guys helped this little hobby of mine turn into something really cool. more than that, though, you cared about me when i was convinced nobody else did. i’m so thankful to have you in my life. there’s so much i wish i could say, but i don’t think any of it would truly convey how thankful i am.
to you, the reader, whether you be someone looking for recommendations or a host of a pod – thank you. this wouldn’t have gone as far as it did without you.
most of you know you can find me on my personal account on twitter, where i do interact with pods frequently. if you want to follow me there, then great. if not, that’s also okay – it won’t hurt my feelings, i promise.
if there is anyone out there who might be interested in taking over, please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. like i said, the site will be active until november 24th at least. if you take over, you get the twitter and insta accounts as well. the facebook page and group will not be active for much longer.
i’m sorry this has come out of nowhere. on my end, it’s been a long time coming. i’m thankful for all of you who have spared kind words and encouragement and patience. i’m sorry i couldn’t do more for you. but i promise i’ve loved each and every one of you to the best of my ability, and if that’s the best i could do, i just hope it’s been enough. as much as it breaks my heart to walk away from this, it’s time for me to put my energy elsewhere.
i hope you all understand. i wish you all the best. thanks for everything.